| Real Fake News Feed |
TORONTO—The Raptors medical staff announced Tuesday that Chris Bosh will miss the rest of the season after the inquisitive forward cut open his knee with a steak knife in an effort to look inside and see how the joint works.
SPRINGDALE, AR—The dynamic processes by which matter and energy function in the physical world ground to a halt Thursday night as 7-year-old...
In a long-term study that surveyed the drinking habits of 20,000 women, those who consumed moderate amounts of alcohol were more likely to keep their...
Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland
WASHINGTON—Without an illustration, chart, or embedded YouTube video to ease them in, millions of dumbfounded citizens from Maine to California were frozen in place, terrified by the sight of one long, unbroken string of English words unsure of what to do next.
CHICAGO—Subjects who drank five glasses or more showed an increased ability to recall each time their mothers had been unsupportive of boyfriends or husbands.
News In Photos
When tablet computers first reared their heads in the '90s, they were quickly written off as low-powered machines that were kind of neat, but not...
DALLAS—During last Wednesday's game against the Phoenix Suns, Mavericks center Dirk Nowitzki reportedly told teammates that he "needed a sec" after a possession featuring quick-paced perimeter passing made him nauseous.
2,000 MILES BENEATH BAVARIA, GERMANY—Mytron the Fifth, Illuminati ruler and secret mastermind of the entire human race since the year 8449...
Since 2008, the number of people who don't believe in global warming has doubled to 16 percent. What do you think?
Excruciating up-to-the-minute coverage of some irrelevant bullshit story that has no ramifications whatsoever.
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| Lost & Found | Found - Men's snake skin wallet with California drivers license. Name on license is Matthew Loggins. Address: 5371 Trement Ave. Ojai, Ca. 93023. If you are the owner of this wallet or have information which would lead to finding the owner, please contact us immediately.
Lost - My wife. We got in a fight last night, she started throwing things, I started throwing things. She hit me. I hit her back. I woke up this morning with a dirty shovel next to the bed. I musta got drunk and washed my clothes in bleach. Im pissed to cause I ruined my favorite pair of clamdiggers. Cant find my shoes neither. Please let me know if you find her. I love her dearly, and I'm worried. |
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| Look Deep | Documented Facts Seeking Writers
We are interested in profiling writers who are creative and offer their readers a less serious tone. Writers with a natural sense of humor and a penchant for satire are encouraged to send in samples. Please use our nifty little contact form to do so.
Fact Breakers! We want the Truth!
Documented Facts is seeking information about the whereabouts of Elvis Aaron Presley. He is pictured here in full
battle regalia:
Recent reports indicate "The King" may have been spotted lurking about, the often
spasmodic, Britney Spears residence.
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